Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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