I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
