he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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