it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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