marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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