Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Are we still banned from the library?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
