so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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