Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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