I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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