this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
