Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
