I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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