Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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