every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize
