help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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