I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
