oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize