Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
