i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
