u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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