You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i was born a porn star she said
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize