You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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