dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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