Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
