I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
