You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
