like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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