i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
