Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"