After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.