How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!