Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.