the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
