Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
