we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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