you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
