I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize