we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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