He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
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Do I have a choice?
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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