I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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