My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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