So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
