she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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