so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
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this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
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We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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