How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
