Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
