I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
