I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
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The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
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The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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