Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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