I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
