they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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