well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
That accounts for only three of the penises
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
