Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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