what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
