sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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