My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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