i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my sisters under your porch take her home
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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