Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
