shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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