Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
