I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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