But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
