We got so high we made milksteak
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
